To expand a bit upon Clint's remarks on "Caring" in response to yours, Zak, (because spiritual progress requires its understanding)...

First, and please, indeed do click on the link provided by Clint and go have a look at Webster's definitions of "care" and "love." In so doing, one will quickly find some of the ways in which we all seem to "care" for things in our world. In respect to "care" Webster clearly demonstrates, "Painstaking or watchful attention" - as in the case of caring for the sick or caring for the basic needs of our children or caring for the maintenance of our cars - is a very common way in which we apply "care" to our personal realities. "Regard, coming from desire or esteem" - as in caring about our spouse or family members or even employers or friends - likewise emerges from Webster's dictionary as a way in which everyone commonly employs the distinction of "care" in our everyday lives.

But, consider too, that other elements of the definition of the word "care" are also used every day in the life of most people, and often, are not applied in any way aligned with what most relate to as the limit to its definition - referring to Clint's remark that most people confuse "caring" for someone or something with "loving" that person or thing. To wit, "loving" someone or something is not at all the same as "caring" for someone or something. They are distinct from each other. They are not the same. This is why the two experiences have different words we use to express them.

 

Consider, that if I am personally experiencing in my body physical feelings toward someone or something which typically accompany the "suffering of mind" or a "disquieted state of mixed uncertainty, apprehension, and responsibility", or relating to a person, thing or circumstance as the source of my own unpleasant "feelings of anxiety", then what I am actually doing is applying another existing element of the word "care" to my own reality while thinking (and being) that these feelings of despair are necessary and required in order to love that person, thing or circumstance about which I "care" and toward which I am feeling uncertain, apprehensive and responsible. I am effectively confusing the two very distinct worlds of "loving" and "caring." And, we've all been taught that in order to "love" we must also "care", and that when I am "loving" I must also be "caring" about that person or thing. Clinically - and more to the point, mathematically - here is what we are doing...

Love = Care, Care = Love

Through social programming we have all developed personal realities which do include beliefs (or memes) that say that we are suppose to suffer and feel emotional pain in our bodies in order to love something. Or, better said, we have all been taught that if we do love someone or something, we are then biologically required, in the presence of certain types of circumstances, to feel emotional pain in our bodies and then suffer about those people or things toward which we feel loving.

As Clint stated, we have all been programmed to confuse - or collapse together - the separate distinctions of "love" and "care." Yes, please do, care for the sick and care for the needs of your children. And, by all means, care for the maintenance of your car. But please, cease and desist in the confusing of those applications of the word "care", with the ones that suggest that you are required to feel bad about those people or things that you "love. " In short, we are not required to "care" for that which we "love." Contrarily, we are not required to "love" that for which we "care."

The mere fact that Webster is pointing out that, in addition to waxing our cars and feeding the sick or helpless, we humans also seem to suffer and feel emotional pain, anxiety and solicitude about that which we care, is not suggesting that we are required to suffer and feel emotional pain about such things or matters that we feel loving toward. That is not what the dictionary is suggesting at all. The publishers of the dictionary are merely pointing out to those interested that this - feeling anxious or grief about that which we care - is simply something that we, as humans, do by social programming followed by habitual behavior. It's just an observation made by the writers of the dictionary. They are coming to the matter without any passion nor prejudice. They are simply making a clinical observation about human life.

But, make no mistake...just because it's being pointed out in writing within the pages of the dictionary, it doesn't mean that "suffering of mind" is a biological predisposition to the human animal. Webster is merely making the observation of what we humans currently seem to do. The fact is, in life...suffering is only an option. We don't recommend it. But, it is an option. We're leaving the choice to the reader - the witnesser and experiencer of life.

What we're pointing out here - in fact, illuminating - is only one element of how we all develop the grander picture of the entirety of our own personal realities. Consider that each of our personal realities are delivered to us, and developed by us, through language. Without language of some kind how would any of us have a reality at all to express or to which we could even relate?

So, if language is the medium by which we all develop and express our personal views of reality, then it might be worthy of our time and attention to have a look at the words we actually use and how we use them. It becomes particularly noteworthy when we likewise notice that some words and their definitions have been a part of our reality for over 700 years, as in the case of the word "care."

The word "care" came into common use in the 12th century A.D. That's a really long time for a word's original intent to become corrupted by the what appears to be the confused, albeit innocent, default state of mankind.

What we're asserting here is that some parts of each of our personal realities are derived from sometimes having confused some elements of the definition of the words that we use to express ourselves and define our personal realities.

So, if we are all living life every day with the inclusion of all of the distinctions of the word "care", we may do well to investigate every distinction of the word and whether or not the entire definition is being equitably applied to all of our personal experiences. In other words...

Am I suffering and feeling emotional pain because someone I love is not doing what I believe they should be doing? Am I likewise suffering and feeling emotional pain because something I want or aspire to be or belong to is not working out the way I want it to in reality?

Who among us cannot honestly say that this is an experience that we have all had at some point? Let's make this really clear. Consider this very common scenario...

I love someone.
This person I love is not living their life the way I believe is best for them.
This person I love is not doing the things I want them to do.

Now, at this point in the thinking process I'm not yet in trouble. So far, we've only uncovered 3 actual facts in reality.

Fact 1: I love someone
Fact 2: I have a belief system
Fact 3: This person I love is not applying my belief system to their life.

No problems yet in the thinking process because we're still only dealing with the facts. But...

We humans don't stop there, do we? Typically, we humans then apply our confusion of "love" and "care" to the situation. When I notice that I am feeling bad about the fact that this person I love is not applying my belief system to their life, I just stopped working in the world of reality and instead, began applying that one distinct element of the definition of the word "care" that says I'm supposed to suffer, feel anxiety, despair, grief & solicitude about that which I care. In this case, I am "caring" about whether or not this person I love is aligned with my personal belief structure, and suffering emotionally upon the discovery that they are not doing so. As if to suggest, that my personal belief structure is more correct than theirs. Sort of an arrogant position, isn't it? I'm holding out as some sort of Truth that my opinion contains within it more value and Truth than theirs.

Notice then, that the definition of the word "care"  includes not a single mention about the "love of someone or something." Likewise, per Clint's suggestion, look up the word "love" and you will also see that there is no part of the definition of "love" that has anything to do with "caring" for someone or something.

Here's the shortest path to deliverance from the pain and suffering of "caring."

Love someone or something. Let that someone or something be whatever they are, it is, or whatever they are or it is ever going to be. Cease in your attempts to control them or it. Abandon your wish that they or it be something other than what they already are, what it is or what they or it are or is ever going to be. John Lennon said it best I think......"Let it be." Loosely translated...

Stop caring. Just love.

Consider that, in order to even have something to observe with your senses, whatever it is to be observed has to be something or someone that has already happened or is already what it is. "Caring" about what they are or about what it already is, is not the same as simply loving they or it for what they already are or for what it already is. Caring so much about that things are not different than what they already are is where we all get into trouble.

Our advice? "Care" for nothing. Love everything you observe. Period.

Then simply watch and observe how life unfolds before you in a completely new way that is more aligned with everything you've ever wanted than anything you could have ever imagined before.

In short...allow reality. Make space for what is. Give a wide berth to Truth. We've already given a helluva lot of due diligence to the way we were programmed to think. We already know what's at the end of that road. We could try something new. Or not.

The Four Steps are the access to this new realm of which we speak. It is a doorway, or path, to a life without anxiety, emotional pain, suffering, solicitude, grief, worry and concern. This doesn't mean that life isn't going to continue throwing curve balls. It just means that there might be another way to engage with the curve balls when they come. If they way I've been swinging the bat doesn't seem to send it over the fence or even get be to first base, I may wish to consider learning a new batting technique.

Usher in Mind Syntropy.

Love,
Nathaniel